I know you want it.
Monday, May 08, 2006
5/08/2006 02:10:00 PM
Tomorrow is my bithday but i don't feel at all happy. For sixteen years of my life, in my memory, y only birthday party was when i was 1 year old and another one was somehwere when i was primary Me dad and brother are celebrating their chinese bithday tonight and what about me? What about my birthday? Am i so unimportant? I asked me mum what about my birthday and she say we will celebrate together tonight. As am aftherthought. I felt so wasted. I can't even have fun on my birhthday but they can. On me mum's bithday i even bought a cake for her and my bro was suppose to be chipping in but he didn't. What did i do? I did nothing. I did not even say a word about the cake. And now when its my birthday, i will be happy even to get A PIECE of cake. From them. That reminds me of last year when its my siblings bday, they get a cake and red egg. And what did i get? I got so much as a nothing. If there's something called nothing. I don't even get a wishing chance. And my bithday present, i even have to pay it myself first and get the money from me mum. All these i have kept quiet even tho my heart really hurts. And this year, supposedly is my sweet sixteen bday, is ruined. Not only by me mum not allowing me to have a simple dinner with my friends at home but also what she said: Daddy say we will celebrate together tonight. I would have been so happy if she didn't sound like it was an afterthought. I just felt like leaving and not going to the dinner tonight. It doesn't concern me anyway does it? What the use? Maybe next year, i will stop trying to ask them even for a cake. I will only get disappointments and on my bday. Why hurt myself. I tried it for so many years and so many years they never failed to disappoint me. What really hurt me is the thought that even my friends care for me more. Yanting was sort of organising a trip to Escape this thursday. It is not even her bday and she is doing it for me. Yes, for me. I really appreciated it but why is it so difficult for my own FAMILY to do it? When i told Yanting i can't have a party at home she told me that we can go and celebrate it outside ourselves. Ivy also said that we can go out and enjoy together. And get a load of this: My mum told me to go and eat at MacDonalds on my bday with my friends. When i told my friends about it they laughed. And in the end, it is friends that cared more. I believe that it is not that they want to enjoy themselves but really was for me. And i was so happy when debbie said "Wah, tmr your bithday ar!" Those words were so real. Sometimes i just found myself if i got a cursed life and thats the reason THEY do not want to celebrate my bday with me. But if my friends can do it why not THEM? I give up trying to ask for a party next year. I don't care. Or should i say, THEY don't care because it NOT THIER bday.
The APPLE
HSS
NP ECH
Choir'03-06
Prefectorial Board'04-06
HeadFirstForHalos'05
Active member of The Breakfast Crew'06
Until recently an active member of Concern Club'07
Good Apples
PSP
The Sims Games
Sabrina
Snoweeeeeee
Digital Camera
McLAREN MERCEDEZ
Unlimited flow of Soba/Sashimi
New pair of covered shoes
New Spectacles
New sports shoes
New clothes
More spongebobs!
New water bottle
Go Thailand
Solve my rubiks
Take up martial arts/Wushu
Learn dancing,
Drama,
Drums,
Guitar
Slim down
AppleIpod
Samsung E900
Her/You
Search for the apple, friends!
Ivy
Yan Ting
Li Wen
Beat
Debbie
Yu Ping
Brian
Mei qi
Mr Tan
Clara
1A02
Spread the message of my apple.

Thanks for the apple!
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