Wednesday, December 20, 2006
12/20/2006 12:01:00 AM
I fell and hurt myself today. My ego hurt, my leg hurt, my hands hurt. My cousin told me, what don't kill you makes you stronger. But does heart pain kills? Because if it does, i think i'm dying now. I'm not fuss about how i fell and hurt myself today. That doesn't kill, but my heart pains are killing me now. I'm just so puzzled. Why can't you just treat me a little better? I don't mind if you treats me like a normal friend, at least you treats me right. I'm so hurt, so hurt. Not only my ego. Sometimes you hold so tight it slips right through your hands. Maybe i was too hard on you. Maybe i was so trying my best to cling on to you, cling on to my only comfort. But i don't understand why you can be so nice to me one moment and the next as hostile. Just only yesterday you made me felt like the happiest person in the world, and now you take away my happiness and replaced it with sorrow. Sorrow so sad even the word seems to be bleeding as i read it. Its like losing you all over again, and i thought we have already outgrown that. I thought finally when you talked to me after our, wait, my long and painful period, you can fianlly accept me, befriend me, make my life a whole lot fufilling, and yet, there we go again. Here i am, battling again, fighting, fighting. You know, i'm really tired. I'm so tired. I don't know if i'm doing the right thing, clinging on, battling on. Sometimes i just find me asking myself, whether you are even worth my time. I guessed the time where i droned on and on about how sweet you are to anyone who would listen is long gone. Talking about you may bring smiles to my face, they brought pains to my heart too. Because i know i won't ever hear those sweet nothings you said to me, see those small gestures you made that always make me blush, i guessed we really have outgrown that. And in case you thought i was bluffing, i really missed having you to greet me everyday. It's just, maybe its time for me to look for someone to make my day each day, say sweet nothings to me each day, make me blush each day... I just don't know what to do anymore. Should i move on or should i carry on?
The APPLE
HSS
NP ECH
Choir'03-06
Prefectorial Board'04-06
HeadFirstForHalos'05
Active member of The Breakfast Crew'06
Until recently an active member of Concern Club'07
Good Apples
PSP
The Sims Games
Sabrina
Snoweeeeeee
Digital Camera
McLAREN MERCEDEZ
Unlimited flow of Soba/Sashimi
New pair of covered shoes
New Spectacles
New sports shoes
New clothes
More spongebobs!
New water bottle
Go Thailand
Solve my rubiks
Take up martial arts/Wushu
Learn dancing,
Drama,
Drums,
Guitar
Slim down
AppleIpod
Samsung E900
Her/You
Search for the apple, friends!
Ivy
Yan Ting
Li Wen
Beat
Debbie
Yu Ping
Brian
Mei qi
Mr Tan
Clara
1A02
Spread the message of my apple.
Thanks for the apple!
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Fishpear
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