I know you want it.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
4/19/2007 10:31:00 PM
Ok, i admit.

I am a bad girl. I totally forgotten about anyone else the minute he started to talk to me. I was like so engrossed in the conver i ignored all the other orange blinking light. I was like totally just frozen in the page, in his conver.

So i am a bad girl right? I put him in front of my girlfriends. But i had the courage to admit i am bad girl so im not exactly that bad also right?

Ok, before it gets too complicated, i shall go on.

So ya, he told me that our choir got a bronze. Bronze, yes, you saw it right. But i really admire their, or rather, his, attitude about getting a bronze. He told me that they are the bronze with honours school!! I was like so proud of him. And since they are only 0.01 points to a silver, they are the best bronze award!!

If i were him, i would have cried. The last time we got a silver, i felt like crying too. But today, standing (ok, sitting) as a senior, i felt like crying too. Not because they got a bronze, but because i am so proud of them for having such positive attitude.

HSS choir is the best!! Bronze, silver or gold, we are the best!! So i want to congratulate everyone who took part in syf this year. You guys did a great job! Especially you.

And i understand what you meant when you say you guys sang so much better than the last time i was in the music room. I know. Magic happens everytime we stand on stage. Thats why HSS choir rocks. And i am so happy!! This was the first time he actually acknowledge me in the room!!

If i can be so happy like i am now everytime he talk to me like this, i want to make him talk to me like this everyday. How nice it will be if i could come home feeling all stressed up about school, and he's there for me, making me smile despite everything... How nice that will be.

But i have learnt the hard way. Good things dont always happen. I learnt that the minute you gave me the cold war. I used to be so hurt and angry at the same time. But now, all i feel was sadness. It was more than losing your best friend. Its like losing a part of yourself, like your heart, for instance.

So from then on, i know we wont ever talk like how we used to talk anymore. I know i have complained about this since eons years ago, but i really missed how you made me laugh like making me laugh was what god made you for. And god made me for you too. But after all that have happened, reality have since proven me wrong.

It made me understand we arent made for each other afterall. Maybe god made me think of it that way to make me a stronger person, to make me understand that you dont always get what you want in life. He made me realise i cant get what i want at the moment - you.

He only made us friends in the end. Friends whom only talk when there's a need to.

But im not complaining. Thats definetly better than not being friends at all. And at least we still talk, not counting the time where you gave me only one word answers. Time when we were really talking. And if you dont already know, everytime you gave me one word answers, i will feel so pain. I really do. Made me think that im such a fool for holding on while there you are trying of let go of me.

But im glad i havent totally gave up on you. I will never ever do tho. True, i may be checking out guys all the time but when im really alone, its not those i-dont-even-know-their-names guys im thinking about (ok, wentworth is not counted. neither are my other super hot idols, but they are fantasies!!), im thinking about how i wish we could be like before.

And i even wake up crying one day because in my dream, i missed you so much.

Call me a moron i dont care.

And for the one thousand and one times, i am learning to let go. But im not doing it.

If i wish hard enough, will i get what i want?
The APPLE
HSS
NP ECH
Choir'03-06
Prefectorial Board'04-06
HeadFirstForHalos'05
Active member of The Breakfast Crew'06
Until recently an active member of Concern Club'07
Good Apples
PSP
The Sims Games
Sabrina
Snoweeeeeee
Digital Camera
McLAREN MERCEDEZ
Unlimited flow of Soba/Sashimi
New pair of covered shoes
New Spectacles
New sports shoes
New clothes
More spongebobs!
New water bottle
Go Thailand
Solve my rubiks
Take up martial arts/Wushu
Learn dancing,
Drama,
Drums,
Guitar
Slim down
AppleIpod
Samsung E900
Her/You
Search for the apple, friends!
Ivy
Yan Ting
Li Wen
Beat
Debbie
Yu Ping
Brian
Mei qi
Mr Tan
Clara
1A02
Spread the message of my apple.

Thanks for the apple!
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